It’s 7am on Boxing Day in Sydney, Australia. I’m sitting on the floor in the bathroom with my laptop, painting my toenails, because everyone else is still asleep.

If you have to spend Christmas half a planet away from family, I recommend inviting a close friend to visit, and spending the day popping in and out of the kitchen in pursuit of delicious foods, listening to a thunderstorm, and cutting up old cereal boxes and newspapers to construct cardboard costumes. What started out as an effort to create some sort of traditional decoration (crowns) turned into a full-on all-day effort to make our own interpretation of legends’ three kings.

Some of us were more kingly than others.

Japan-Ben (whip boy) brought appropriately japan-presents, in the sense that they are bizarre and, of course, awesome. It turns out The Gift of the year in Japan is a set of electronic kitty ears which plant electrodes on your ear and forehead to “sense your brainwaves” and express whether you are concentrating, relaxed, or In The Zone. We’re not sure how highly correlated any particular brain state is with the motions of the ears, but it turns out that their somewhat erratic punctuation can be appropriate for just about any conversation. Whether the ears happen to snap alert when thunder rolls, or wiggle adorably when one is making a very serious comment, or turn down just in time for a glare inspired by unfair teasing, the results are inevitably hilarious.

We traded the ears all day, but eventually I claimed them and incorporated them into my costume-crown. Ben was the Warrior of Heart and Goodness, and Ben was I’m not sure but he had a lot of bits on, a cardboard cape, and a formidable scepter.

We went on a grand journey to find the one convenience store open on christmas day to procure unfamiliar bubbly beverages, with kitty ears (pre-costumes), which the cashier greatly appreciated.  Whip boy tried his best at mixology, but perhaps he needs a better-situated bar. We made a spectacular mess in the living room (paper bits, tape, glitter), made a spectacular mess in the kitchen (absolutely everything) in the process of creating and consuming delicious soup, steak, and potatoes, and ice cream cake, and toasted sporadically to everything and everyone.  We played board games and conversed, all with pandora trying its best to stream christmas music all day long, intermittently interrupted by lightening, thunder, and whooping cheers in response from the three of us.

We created our own christmas rituals on the warm side of the globe, and I call them a smashing success.